


anchors

by gothzabini (girl412)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: First Kiss, Harry Potter Next Generation, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Compliant, Hogwarts Fifth Year, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Mood Swings, i tried to make this soft, i wanna tag this 'family feels' but is it, no really. it's quite a ride, o well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-29 14:49:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13929327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girl412/pseuds/gothzabini
Summary: “You’re my anchor,” Scorpius says, and it should sound stupid said aloud, but he can tell that Albus gets it. “In that cruel world, in the alternate timeline, it was the thought of you that kept me going.”Albus makes a humming noise, and doesn’t respond for a while, but when he does, Scorpius can’t help feeling that there’s something he isn’t saying. “That’s mutual, though I don’t know how I would keep going in an alternate timeline without you.”“You’d probably have tea parties with my dad, talking about his non-existent son,” Scorpius suggests.or,Things Boys Talk About In The Aftermath Of Parties.





	anchors

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a bit hesitant about posting this since it's my first time writing about these boys, but I feel like they deserve a lot more love & attention so I'm just gonna throw this out here & hope you all like it.

It hits Scorpius suddenly, how much happier Albus could be. It comes in flashes, and sitting alone at tonight’s party, watching his best friend dance with his younger sister, he can see an alternate reality where Albus is loved and popular, and vibrant, the way he is now. Laughing without a care in the world, shining in flickering light, moving to the beat, drinking soda and leaning against the popular girls – Scorpius doesn’t even have it in him to be jealous. He wants Albus to be the centre of attention. He knows this is what Al deserves. 

Lily and Albus are dancing to some Muggle hit song, lip-syncing the words. They’re perfectly co-ordinated and there’s nothing graceful about their dancing, but they look so unapologetically happy that everyone watching is probably envious of them. Neither of them can dance, but they’re both equally bad, and they make it look good when they dance like that, terribly, but enjoying themselves so much that nobody can look away. 

Albus doesn’t look like this often. He’s completely at ease, and Scorpius can see Rose watching him watching Albus almost analytically, but he tunes it out. It hurts, a little. It’s not that Scorpius feels lonely, exactly, but there’s something so unconditional about Albus and Lily. They’re model siblings, in most ways. He wonders what it’d be to have something like that; a sibling you could confide in, the confidence that they wouldn’t ever betray you, and always have your best interests at heart.

Later on, they go back to the dorm, and Albus is still enthusiastic in a way that he usually isn’t. For one, he’s humming the song under his breath, and he holds Scorpius’s hands in the hallway and doesn’t let go. He doesn’t even seem too perturbed when people stare at them. Scorpius doesn’t protest, holding Albus’s hand slightly tighter, swinging their linked arms back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. Albus gives him a soft smile. 

He’s talking to Scorpius gently, even as the other boy curls up on himself, in his blanket. 

“Thanks for coming today,” he says softly. “I know we don’t usually do parties, but I had fun.”  
Scorpius smiles involuntarily. “I know,” he says, and then, without really thinking, he murmurs, “I wish you could be this happy more often.” 

Albus doesn’t respond at first, choosing instead to sit at the foot of Scorpius’s bed and look at him thoughtfully, before saying in a tone so pseudo-formal that Scorpius almost laughs, “You don’t always get what you wish for, Malfoy.” 

Scorpius wants to reach for his hands, but he’s too comfortable curled up, and he’s not sure how Albus will react. “I know, but you really deserve to be happy.” 

Albus frowns. “I am happy, sometimes.” 

Scorpius isn’t sure how to verbalise the feelings running through his head, so he settles for a simple “Things have been really difficult for you, I know, and I’m sorry they’ve been like that.” 

Albus shifts a little, and laughs without humour. “You could say that. But it’s not exactly been a walk in the park for you, either.” 

Scorpius sighs, moving closer to Albus. “It’s not a competition.” 

Albus hums. “I know.” 

They’re silent for a bit, and then Albus murmurs, softly, “As long as I have you, I think it’ll be okay. I mean, you make me happy.” 

“Is it the free sweets?” Scorpius grins. “I provide so much saccharine, and you know it.” 

“Scorp, I’m being serious,” Albus chides, but he’s smiling fondly. “As long as I have you, and you need me. And I know that there’s been Rose, and there may be other girls, but as long as you don’t replace me, I’ll be fine.” 

Scorpius takes a shaky breath. “Okay, firstly, what other girls? There will never be any other girls. Also, do you really think I could replace you? Do you think it would be that easy? We’ve been through too much together for that, don’t you think?” 

Albus nods, but he doesn’t seem too convinced. 

“It’ll always be us against the world, you know that, right?” Scorpius asks, suddenly anxious.

“What if the world stops being against us?” Albus asks, and it’s so soft that Scorpius wonders if he’s imagined it. 

“It’ll still be us, separate from it,” Scorpius says thoughtfully. “We’ll still be our own unit.” 

Albus smiles, but something about his expression’s off – his eyes aren’t lit up the way they usually are. It makes Scorpius’s heart ache a little bit, enough to get him to curl out of his blanket and reach for Albus’s hand. They stay like that for a while, in the dimly lit room, silent. Scorpius feels like something is tense, as though the scenario is holding its breath. Finally, Albus moves, opting to lie down next to Scorpius rather than sit rigidly by his side. 

“Trust me,” Scorpius says softly. “We’ve been through too much together to grow apart. No matter what changes, nothing can take that away from us.”

Albus doesn’t look convinced. Rather, he looks like he’s trying to look convinced, and maybe someone else would believe it, but Scorpius knows how to read Al like a book. He questions where the sudden paranoia is coming from, and wonders if it’s been there all this time, something hidden under the surface that he’d missed.

“Albus.” Scorpius’s voice is firm, and brooks no argument. “You were there for my mother’s funeral. I thought of _you_ when I cast my first patronus. Do you really have no idea how much you mean to me?” 

Al makes a small snuffling sound, and Scorpius wonders if he’s crying. The mere thought is agonising. Unlike Scorpius, Albus doesn’t cry very easily, or very often. His usual method of coping with sadness is to go numb, and Scorpius knows this. If Albus is crying, Scorpius doesn’t know what he’ll do, or how he can help. 

“Good,” Albus mumbles, giving Scorpius an impromptu hug. Scorpius holds him firmly, suspecting that Al needs this as much as he does. “I feel the same way about you.”

“You’re my anchor,” Scorpius says, and it should sound stupid said aloud, but he can tell that Albus gets it. “In that cruel world, in the alternate timeline, it was the thought of you that kept me going.” 

Albus makes a humming noise, and doesn’t respond for a while, but when he does, Scorpius can’t help feeling that there’s something he isn’t saying. “That’s mutual, though I don’t know how I would keep going in an alternate timeline without you.” 

“You’d probably have tea parties with my dad, talking about his non-existent son,” Scorpius suggests, and just like that, the tension’s broken. Albus laughs.

“We’d probably complain about _my_ dad together. I wonder if he still has those anti-Potter badges he made when he was in 4th year.” Albus smirks.  
“I don’t see why you’re so proud of that,” Scorpius says. “I mean, those badges were definitely made using complex charmwork, but still – ” 

“Give your dad some credit,” Albus insists. “He was focused and determined when it came to the boy he hated.” 

“We should’ve used the time-turner to go back to their childhoods just to observe their antics,” Scorpius says, sadly.

“Oh, yeah! But we’d probably keep getting mistaken for them.”

“I’d probably die,” Scorpius laughs softly. “It’s scary to imagine Aunt Pansy calling me Draco and kissing my cheek.”

“Ugh,” Albus sympathises. “And if any professors do the whole ‘Harry, my boy’ thing, I'll probably lose 10 years of my lifespan.”

And just like that, like nothing’s happened, they’re both laughing.

“You’d call Aunt Hermione Rose, I bet you would.”

“No!! I would probably call her Minister and make her wonder why Draco Malfoy’s suddenly being so respectful.” 

“I’d hang out with Aunt Luna all the time, she’s super chill.” 

“Now that’s a _Harry Potter_ thing to do. If you really want to startle them, you should do something unexpected.” 

“Like what?” Al smirks.

“Like befriend Aunt Millicent.” 

“Sounds like a plan.” 

The other boys are getting ready for bed. Scorpius can see them getting out their pyjamas and toothbrushes. Some of them seem slightly tipsy. Scorpius is relieved that Al is sober. He wonders if that thought makes him a bad friend.

“No more parties, okay?” Al says suddenly, out of the blue.

“Why not? I thought you had fun.”

“Yeah, but I don’t think you did, and I need to be more aware of that.” Al gives him a soft smile, and Scorpius wants to kiss him. He tries to push the thought away.

“We can make compromises,” Scorpius points out, not meeting Al’s eyes. “You could accompany me to Muggle museums or something.”

“I could do that,” Al agrees. “Dad was teaching me how to use Muggle money this summer.” 

Scorpius nods. Albus had mentioned it briefly in one of his letters, but he doesn’t mind hearing it again.

“We could run away together,” Scorpius says, and it’s a joke, but the look in Albus’s eyes when he hears it is dead serious.

“We could,” Al agrees, and Scorpius can tell that he means it.

“Al, are you okay?”

“Not really.” Albus is looking at him with an expression that Scorpius can’t interpret. He’s never seen Al look like that before.

“Anything that I can do?”

“Stay with me.” 

“Of course. Always.” Scorpius sits up. “We should brush our teeth.”

“Malfoy the Pragmatic, aren’t you?” Albus says, but his voice is gentle. “You’re right.” 

“I love sleepovers,” Scorpius gushes.

“You’re ridiculous,” Albus says, but he’s smiling, “and also adorable.” Then he freezes, as if he hadn’t meant to say it aloud, and it’d taken him unawares. 

“Well, thanks,” Scorpius says, getting his toothbrush out of his trunk. “I’m sure that’s what people think of the Easter Bunny.”

“Wow, Scorp. With knowledge like that, it’s no wonder that you top Muggle studies.” 

Scorpius grins at him, considering flipping him off before deciding against it and walking over to the basin, leaving Al sitting in bed, looking disoriented.

Around half an hour later, they’re lying next to each other in Scorpius’s bed, in the dark. Scorpius finds himself focusing on where their shoulders touch. It feels nice.

“Do you really think I’m adorable?” Scorpius asks suddenly. He mentally chides himself right afterwards, wondering what made him voice the thought.

“Uh, yeah,” Albus says, and Scorpius thinks that there’s something about lying next to someone in the dark that makes it easier to say things to them that you wouldn’t have the courage to say in daylight. “Honestly, you’re probably the most adorable person in our entire year.” Scorpius is glad that it’s too dark for Al to see his face. He’s pretty sure there’s nothing platonic about the thrill and the nervousness that he’s feeling.

“In fact,” Al says, and Scorpius suspects that they’re both holding their breath, “I really want to kiss you, right now.” 

Scorpius’s first thought is disbelief, followed by exaltation. He grins. “That took guts to say,” he says. “The hat should’ve sorted you Gryffindor. And yes, for the record, that sounds great. I really want to be kissed by you, this very instant.” 

“Merlin, you’re so weird,” Al says, and Scorpius can hear the wonder in his voice. They move closer together, and the next thing he knows, they’re kissing and it’s better than he’s imagined. Something about the fact that it’s real makes him feel more content and safe than he’s felt for a long time. The press of Al’s forehead against his, his hands on his chin and in his hair, the way they’re holding each other and the fact that they’re smiling against each other floods him with warmth. He’s overwhelmed by the magnitude of these feelings.

Scorpius wants to say those three words, but he can’t help thinking that it’s too early for that, so he says, “I’m grateful for you.”

Albus doesn’t say anything at first, opting instead to bury his face against Scorpius’s neck. “I’m grateful for you, too. You’re the only thing worth coming here for.”

“Don’t you think that’s a little cynical?”

Al laughs, but it sounds a little choked. “Scorp, when am I not cynical? There’s a reason my middle name is Severus. It’s because I’m great at portions, and also a mean embittered bastard.” 

“Who said that about Snape?” Scorpius yawns. “I find it fascinating that there are so many different opinions on him.”

“You’d find it less fascinating if you were named after him,” Albus says, yawning as well. “And credit to that quote goes to Uncle Neville – oh, wait, Professor Longbottom, since we’re at Hogwarts.” 

Scorpius smiles. “I’m falling asleep.” He can hear the smile in Albus’s voice though, when he replies, “I know.” 

There’s something Scorpius wants to say before that, though.

“Tonight, at the party?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Lily was really happy. You’re a great elder brother.” 

“That’s debatable.”

“No, it really isn’t.” 

“I’m too sleepy to argue with you, but this is a conversation we’ll be having later.”

“She really loves you.” 

Al moves a little. “I really love her too.”

“See? Good elder brother.” 

Al punches his arm lightly. “Goodnight, Scorpion King.” 

“Fuck you, you mean embittered bastard.” 

Albus laughs delightedly, no doubt amused to have gotten such an expression from Scorpius, who rarely ever used expletives. 

Scorpius isn’t sure when he falls asleep, but when he wakes up, he feels safe. He knows that nothing’s all sunshine and rainbows, but it’s still too good to be true. Al’s grip on him isn’t painfully tight, but it’s firm. He feels like the physical embodiment of an anchor, which might be exactly what Scorpius needs, since he feels like he’s walking on air.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!! [here's my tumblr if you want to say hello!!](https://gothzabini.tumblr.com/)


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